Diary Of An Indie Filmmaker: Part XI

Part XI: The Ad

Here's the ad I placed today (minus the Bowfinger picture). Think anyone will respond?

WANTED: PRODUCER'S

If you think a producer's job is to walk around the set watching everyone else work and ask the talent once in a while if they need a Pepsi -- stop reading this.

If you think a producer's job is to try and get your friends cast or their music put in the film -- stop reading.

If all you want's a credit on a resume. If all you want is to get it done. If you can't embrace the motto: "I refuse to waste a hundred hours getting it done but will spend a thousand hours making it great," -- stop reading.

I need organized, hard working, hustlers unafraid of hard, tedious, frustrating, thankless work. And I need you to do this work for no pay.

Here's what we have:

1. $27,000. We HAVE $27,000. We're not trying to raise $27,000. We're not promised $27,000. We have it. It's in the bank. It's our budget. We're trying to raise more but can make the film if we don't.

2. We have an unbelievable talented cast and the audition tapes to prove it if you don't believe me.

3. We have an excellent script that if executed on film to it's potential will make an excellent film. Don't believe me? Download the script here: http://www... And make up your own mind.

4. We have a DP, Sound Mixer, director, and three other dedicated people working their butts off to pull this off with you.

5. We have High Definition! Not 24p. Not DV. We have hi-def. That's what we're shooting on.

THE BAD NEWS:

1. We have day jobs and can only shoot weekends. This will take 4-5 months.

WHAT WE NEED:

1. MEALS: On a tight budget, we need someone to PRODUCE through whatever means necessary healthy snacks for Friday night, all day Saturday and Sunday. And two full meals a day on both Saturday and Sunday for an average of 10-20 people.

I'm not looking for a cook. How you do this is up to you. But I can assure you it won't be done by going through the yellow pages because of our budget. You're going to have to find people willing to cook, go shopping, and logistically handle getting warm meals and snacks to the location.

Handle this within budget and dazzle the crew and cast with your efficiency and good food and you are a co-producer.

2. EXTRA WRANGLER: We need someone to PRODUCE extras. We will need them in a lot of scenes. We will need them to work more than one day. We need them for free. Sometimes we'll need a couple extras. Sometimes we'll need fifty. We need them on time, dressed properly, handled on set, and we need to know that whoever is taking care of this is just going to take care of this.

This is a no-excuse job. These people just need to be there.

Handle this within budget and by giving no headaches to the director and you're a co-producer.

3. PAPERWORK: We need someone to PRODUCE all the necessary paperwork. We are going SAG Ultra-Low Budget. There will be contracts that need to be created and signed by cast, crew, and incoming extras. We'll need releases at locations and a number of other things I'm forgetting.

We need someone organized, dedicated, committed to dotting the I's and crossing the t's.

With dotted "i's" and crossed "t's" you become a co-producer.

4. LINE PRODUCER: We need someone to PRODUCE each shoot day effectively and make the phone calls and handle ALL the tedious logistics necessary to make sure that who is supposed to be there gets there and gets there on time. You will make sure the set is ready. You will make sure the food, extras, and paperwork is ready.

Do this and you're a co-producer. Do it flawlessly and accept all the responsibility around the production and you'll be sole "producer." No promises on the sole producer credit until the shoot is over and done. You will have to dazzle me.

5. LOCATIONS: We still need locations. Now nobody wants to do this job. And when I say nobody I mean NOBODY. Because it's tedious difficult dull work. But we need locations and we need them for free. But... You can get these locations for free and here's how:

I need a collection agency for a scene. How would you do it? If you're first thought was "put a bunch of desks in my garage," go away. If you're first thought was "ask him to rewrite the script so the same scenes take place in a public park," go to hell. If you're first thought was, "call every collection in Los Angeles until one agrees to let us in for free," you're hired.

That's how it's done and that's how I did it. I got the collection agency and a bar and a miniature golf course and a restaurant and a number of other locations using the very simple formula of calling and asking until someone said, "yes."

We have 20 plus locations because that's what a feature movie has. And we can get them with hard work and dedication and a calling card. You just have to be willing to do the work. You just have to be willing to think outside of the box. You have to believe that it can be done, can be done for free, and embrace and revel in that challenge and enjoy it more the harder it gets.

I did. I just don't have any more time to do it.

And I won't make the movie without these locations. I won't waste everyone's talent and time making just another camcorder movie with 5 characters in three locations. What's the point? I'll pull the plug before I do that.

6. THE REST: Oh, no, your job won't end when the above is done. There will be people to drive and eqpt to haul and calls to make and sets to decorate and a hundred other things that need to be done. Everyone on-set works. We don't need another mouth to feed. Especially if it's someone standing around playing producer.

SUMMATION:

So, I return to the motto of: "I won't waste a hundred hours getting it done but I will spend a thousand hours making it great."

Meaning... I don't want to hear about your family issues. I don't want to hear why you may not be able to do something. I don't want to hear about your time conflicts or girlfriend problems. I don't want to hear about how you can rely on friends and family and others who might let you down. I don't want to hear about your connections and contacts or whatever else it is that you're using now to lay the groundwork for an excuse for failure in the future.

I want to hear how you're just going to get it done if at the end of the day it's just you and you alone. I want to hear how you're going to get it done if everyone you ever counted on falls through -- because they will. I want to hear your worst-case-scenario-this-is-how-it-will-just-get-done-no-matter-what plan.

So...

You wanna make a movie? Wanna just do it? Wanna do it without having to wait for Hollywood to kick in? Wanna do it without waiting for financing? Tired of half-assed productions with some jerk who just wants to play director on your time? Wanna be part of a team trying to make something great who will not rest, tire or falter until it is? Want a real credit on a film that could really go somewhere? Willing to do what's necessary to make that happen?

Then we want to hear from you.

Everyone signed on will have a contract and a piece of the pie. Right now the pie is copy, credit, meals, and gratitude. But if the movie does well, we ALL do well.

You'll have that in writing. We're a team.

Part XI: The Ad

Here's the ad I placed today (minus the Bowfinger picture). Think anyone will respond?

WANTED: PRODUCER'S

If you think a producer's job is to walk around the set watching everyone else work and ask the talent once in a while if they need a Pepsi -- stop reading this.

If you think a producer's job is to try and get your friends cast or their music put in the film -- stop reading.

If all you want's a credit on a resume. If all you want is to get it done. If you can't embrace the motto: "I refuse to waste a hundred hours getting it done but will spend a thousand hours making it great," -- stop reading.

I need organized, hard working, hustlers unafraid of hard, tedious, frustrating, thankless work. And I need you to do this work for no pay.

Here's what we have:

1. $27,000. We HAVE $27,000. We're not trying to raise $27,000. We're not promised $27,000. We have it. It's in the bank. It's our budget. We're trying to raise more but can make the film if we don't.

2. We have an unbelievable talented cast and the audition tapes to prove it if you don't believe me.

3. We have an excellent script that if executed on film to it's potential will make an excellent film. Don't believe me? Download the script here: http://www... And make up your own mind.

4. We have a DP, Sound Mixer, director, and three other dedicated people working their butts off to pull this off with you.

5. We have High Definition! Not 24p. Not DV. We have hi-def. That's what we're shooting on.

THE BAD NEWS:

1. We have day jobs and can only shoot weekends. This will take 4-5 months.

WHAT WE NEED:

1. MEALS: On a tight budget, we need someone to PRODUCE through whatever means necessary healthy snacks for Friday night, all day Saturday and Sunday. And two full meals a day on both Saturday and Sunday for an average of 10-20 people.

I'm not looking for a cook. How you do this is up to you. But I can assure you it won't be done by going through the yellow pages because of our budget. You're going to have to find people willing to cook, go shopping, and logistically handle getting warm meals and snacks to the location.

Handle this within budget and dazzle the crew and cast with your efficiency and good food and you are a co-producer.

2. EXTRA WRANGLER: We need someone to PRODUCE extras. We will need them in a lot of scenes. We will need them to work more than one day. We need them for free. Sometimes we'll need a couple extras. Sometimes we'll need fifty. We need them on time, dressed properly, handled on set, and we need to know that whoever is taking care of this is just going to take care of this.

This is a no-excuse job. These people just need to be there.

Handle this within budget and by giving no headaches to the director and you're a co-producer.

3. PAPERWORK: We need someone to PRODUCE all the necessary paperwork. We are going SAG Ultra-Low Budget. There will be contracts that need to be created and signed by cast, crew, and incoming extras. We'll need releases at locations and a number of other things I'm forgetting.

We need someone organized, dedicated, committed to dotting the I's and crossing the t's.

With dotted "i's" and crossed "t's" you become a co-producer.

4. LINE PRODUCER: We need someone to PRODUCE each shoot day effectively and make the phone calls and handle ALL the tedious logistics necessary to make sure that who is supposed to be there gets there and gets there on time. You will make sure the set is ready. You will make sure the food, extras, and paperwork is ready.

Do this and you're a co-producer. Do it flawlessly and accept all the responsibility around the production and you'll be sole "producer." No promises on the sole producer credit until the shoot is over and done. You will have to dazzle me.

5. LOCATIONS: We still need locations. Now nobody wants to do this job. And when I say nobody I mean NOBODY. Because it's tedious difficult dull work. But we need locations and we need them for free. But... You can get these locations for free and here's how:

I need a collection agency for a scene. How would you do it? If you're first thought was "put a bunch of desks in my garage," go away. If you're first thought was "ask him to rewrite the script so the same scenes take place in a public park," go to hell. If you're first thought was, "call every collection in Los Angeles until one agrees to let us in for free," you're hired.

That's how it's done and that's how I did it. I got the collection agency and a bar and a miniature golf course and a restaurant and a number of other locations using the very simple formula of calling and asking until someone said, "yes."

We have 20 plus locations because that's what a feature movie has. And we can get them with hard work and dedication and a calling card. You just have to be willing to do the work. You just have to be willing to think outside of the box. You have to believe that it can be done, can be done for free, and embrace and revel in that challenge and enjoy it more the harder it gets.

I did. I just don't have any more time to do it.

And I won't make the movie without these locations. I won't waste everyone's talent and time making just another camcorder movie with 5 characters in three locations. What's the point? I'll pull the plug before I do that.

6. THE REST: Oh, no, your job won't end when the above is done. There will be people to drive and eqpt to haul and calls to make and sets to decorate and a hundred other things that need to be done. Everyone on-set works. We don't need another mouth to feed. Especially if it's someone standing around playing producer.

SUMMATION:

So, I return to the motto of: "I won't waste a hundred hours getting it done but I will spend a thousand hours making it great."

Meaning... I don't want to hear about your family issues. I don't want to hear why you may not be able to do something. I don't want to hear about your time conflicts or girlfriend problems. I don't want to hear about how you can rely on friends and family and others who might let you down. I don't want to hear about your connections and contacts or whatever else it is that you're using now to lay the groundwork for an excuse for failure in the future.

I want to hear how you're just going to get it done if at the end of the day it's just you and you alone. I want to hear how you're going to get it done if everyone you ever counted on falls through -- because they will. I want to hear your worst-case-scenario-this-is-how-it-will-just-get-done-no-matter-what plan.

So...

You wanna make a movie? Wanna just do it? Wanna do it without having to wait for Hollywood to kick in? Wanna do it without waiting for financing? Tired of half-assed productions with some jerk who just wants to play director on your time? Wanna be part of a team trying to make something great who will not rest, tire or falter until it is? Want a real credit on a film that could really go somewhere? Willing to do what's necessary to make that happen?

Then we want to hear from you.

Everyone signed on will have a contract and a piece of the pie. Right now the pie is copy, credit, meals, and gratitude. But if the movie does well, we ALL do well.

You'll have that in writing. We're a team.

Comments

[mike]

I hate to see people go hungry. Email me some details and I'm sure I can help you out.
mikiear@gmail.com

[Jack Marino]

Harry, you're learning and leaning fast! I love the tone of the Ad. Keep that Georgie Patton approach to the production. This is a war, you have an army to command, the goal is success for ALL! You can't allow the army to misdirect you into some touchy feely artistic group session. I always felt filmmaking is NOT a collaborative effort, its about teamwork and since you are the guy with the gold, you make the rules. Just keep thinking of what Vince Lombardi said about teamwork and winning.

John Ford once punched Henry Fonda on the set of Mr. Roberts, for telling Ford, "this isn't how Josh Logan would do it! On the movie set of THE WERE EXPENDABLE, Robert Montgomery told Ford he had a better idea to shoot a specific scene. Ford called for a new film magazine and let Montgomery shoot it his way. He asked Ford if the scene worked for him, and Ford said, "it worked for me, how about you?" Montgomery said, "it worked for me", Ford went over to the magazine, opened it and gave him the film and said, since you're happy with it, you can have it! Classic John Ford!

As far as the food is concerned, if you can feed your help, like its their last meal, they'll do anything for you. On my second film, I was producer, 2nd unit director, actor, and cook. I cooked PASTA, sauce, meatballs, lots of italian bread. Keep them stuffed and happy and they'll work for you again and again.

I know you'll be moving around a lot, just think of the worst unhealthy kind of food and keep them happy. Make a deal with every fast food chain you can. Buckets of KFC, Burger King, tons of fires. Subway subs anything on this level. Sometimes individual chains will make a deal with you for a ending screen credit.

As a treat one night, what I use to do, on location I would get a barbeque and let the crew see the producer, cook steaks or chicken, greasy Philly steaks, something fun, messy and special. My crew on my first film still talk about all that stuff, I made for them. They remember the food and not the bad times or the flies at that location. Make it fun at night on location.

Try and get some food and beverage endorsements. They'll give you beer, soda, water if you show your cast eating and drinking their product in the film. You'll be surprise what kind of food you can pick up from the product placement companies.

Also, you mentioned about the 'little hot number" making lots of calls during the casting call. Give her a good credit, Executive Producer,somthing good. Remember she will be there at night for you, when you come home, with a dazed look, falling on the floor in a fetal position, reciting Hamlet backwards. She will be the one hugging you!!

If you need an extra, silent bit or under 5s give me a call, I can play North Koreans, midgets, a Democratic Liberal, overweight mobster, and can even look like Hank Quinlan, if you need a little Touch of Evil!