NRO: Christmas in the newsroom

As Ed Asner astutely said, I'm prolific. So go check out my newest column at National Review Online, a heartwarming (debatably) tale of Christmases in the newsroom. A sample:

"... Once again, the newsroom is decked out in bits of tinsel, the menorah is ready to go, and the Christmas tree is lit — and leaning slightly to the left. As people rip into presents on Christmas morning, editors tearing into stories still pepper newsrooms. Reporters are still poking around town — and earning time-and-a-half, mind you — and designers are still wrapping up the paper. People exclaim 'You work on Christmas?' in shock, without pausing to think that a newspaper does arrive on their doorstep early on Dec. 26. But the journalist’s Christmas is far from a dreary day of humbug — in fact, holidays spent with this dysfunctional family can be more memorable than the issue produced that day.

Journalists — who by nature hold more places on the 'naughty' list than the 'nice' one — can’t wait for Christmas to come after several weeks of story saturation on tree trimmings, 'Santa sightings' (your typical cynical journalist stopped believing in the jolly guy at about age 2), caroling at senior centers, and celebrities taking an hour to scoop peas onto a homeless person’s plate for the clicking cameras. The editor's holiday season dawns with the first rewriting of 'Tis the season' and other cliché headlines. The reporter's holiday season is typically ushered in by the local fire department’s educational burning-bush-in-the-living-room demonstration. Taking an adequately dry Christmas tree and adding fake presents around the base, the firefighters light it to show how quickly the tree could turn into a yuletide inferno. At this point, journalists whose offices lack central heating move in closer, palms outstretched to soak up the warmth. ..."

Read the whole thing. I'm already getting some funny e-mail responses from other journalists:

"... The one thing I always remember about Christmas in the newsroom is that the police monitors were usually quiet until late afternoon or early evening, when people and extended families who had been drinking and only saw each other once a year remembered why they only saw each other once a year ..."

"... Someone always brought champagne - or told us it was - and we would drink out of disgustingly plastic cups...we would  vote on the cheesiest christmas photo and we would always try to smuggle in something truly- but uncatchably - vulgar into a page one story as a sign of our holiday togetherness."

And if you're in a Christmas mood and haven't seen it already, go check out my Daily News Christmas column, too.