You know your missile sucks...
You know your missile sucks when... it stays airborne for only slightly longer than an Oscar thank-you speech
You know your missile sucks when... the U.N. Security Council pencils in a meeting on the test-firing for after Christmas vacation
You know your missile sucks when... Takeru Kobayashi eats one after downing 53 3/4 hot dogs
You know your missile sucks when... the most the White House will call you is "provocative" (come on, so was Monica)
You know your missile sucks when... it's harder to get off the ocean floor than a Russian sub
You know your missile sucks when... wannabe-grandiose statesman Moammar Gadhafi is more interested in writing essays on the World Cup than bloviating on your missile proliferation
You know your missile sucks when... Mahmoud Ahmadinejad isn't even interested in being your friend
You know your missile sucks when... people stop keeping count of test-firings (but the Mexican leftist still demands a recount)
You know your missile sucks when... Hamas has better aim with their "MacGyver"-meets-"Monster Garage" rocket concoction
You know your missile sucks when... the European Union has reworded the test-firing as a "spontaneous sparky display"
You know your missile sucks when... you have to shoot them off on a fireworks day just to get some damn attention
You know your missile sucks when... Trey Parker and Matt Stone just can't resist making a sequel (hey, I can dream)
You know your missile sucks when... your own official news agency finds the story less exciting than "Kim Jong Il Gives On-Site Guidance to New Pyongyang Taesong Tyre Factory"
I guess Kim Jong-Il just couldn't keep his Dong up.
Sorry, someone had to.
Posted by: Ofc. Krupke | July 05, 2006 at 04:33 AM
...when your concubine asks to be excused.
Posted by: FriarsTale | July 05, 2006 at 05:46 AM
... when even Madeline Albright won't take notice.
Posted by: FriarsTale | July 05, 2006 at 06:03 AM
It would be a mistake to assume that the missile launch was a failure. It is quite possible that the N. Koreans hit the self destruct button themselves. This would give them credit for defying the US and our allies and not let the US demonstrate that we have the capability to shoot down an incoming missile. If I lived in LA I would be very interested in getting an update on our anti-missile defense system.
Posted by: Jingoistic Jon | July 05, 2006 at 06:46 AM
What's the one thing a girl should never do in bed with a guy?
- Point and laugh.
Honestly, I think the embarassment is going to make this guy more loony and dangerous than he is already.
Posted by: bird dog | July 05, 2006 at 06:47 AM
"spontaneous sparky display" - priceless! I'll be giggling about that one all day. Certainly beats echos of "tuck and duck" from my childhood.
Posted by: bmarie | July 05, 2006 at 06:48 AM
Kim Mah Jong II
You really think that Barbie doll has a dong?
Posted by: Lewis B. Sckolnick | July 05, 2006 at 07:30 AM
Is it that Kim has NoDong?
Or just a case of Premature e-Jong-Il-ation?
Posted by: DANEgerus | July 05, 2006 at 07:48 AM
You know your missile sucks when... even with your super- secret special missile seeing eyeglasses on, you still can't see the missile.
Good one Ofc. Krupke.
Posted by: Ned | July 05, 2006 at 08:13 AM
Yep, his missiles suck! I'm still waiting for the US to flatten the launch sites! Now, that would be funny!
Posted by: benning | July 05, 2006 at 10:08 AM
You know their missile sucks when they request you move your country several thousand miles closer.
Posted by: David | July 05, 2006 at 12:40 PM
You know you have the perfect missile when your launch and target coordinates are the same.
Posted by: Lewis B. Sckolnick | July 05, 2006 at 06:15 PM
Brazil had all of its top space scientists standing around looking at a rocket that they were going to launch the next day when the rocket when boom.
Posted by: Lewis B. Sckolnick | July 05, 2006 at 06:17 PM
You know your missile sucks...When America sells your closest targets an anti-missile device that doesn't even work!!
Posted by: Ben Cunningham | July 06, 2006 at 03:04 PM
ALRIGHT! WHICH ONE OF YOU GUYS THREATENED NORTH KOREA? TAKE IT BACK!
Posted by: charles gibson | July 06, 2006 at 06:18 PM
If Clinton just had had a third and fourth term we would not be in this mess with his Great Friend Kimi
Posted by: Lewis B. Sckolnick | July 07, 2006 at 08:42 PM
Did Kim launch 7 missiles or a 7 mile missile? Maybe 7 missiles went 7 miles. I'm getting confused.
Posted by: Scrapiron | July 09, 2006 at 10:17 PM