GOP Vixen

Chavez vs. God

In a matter of speaking: Hugo Chavez thinks he is God, and is scared as hell of the Catholic leaders who continue to oppose him as he makes Venezuela more and more like Cuba. I write about this little-reported (in the U.S., that is) clash of the Chavez and the church on Pajamas Media today:

"...Chavez has invoked the name of Christ so much lately you’d expect him to become the first communist televangelist. But as he refers to Jesus as 'the greatest socialist in history,' his invocations are hardly Christ-like as they usually involve spitting venom at his opponents.

Like how he recently took aim at Venezuela’s Catholic leader Cardinal Jorge Urosa and other opposition clergymen: 'If Christ were still alive and physically present, I’m completely sure he’d take them out with whippings,' he audaciously told a crowd of supporters.

On Nov. 11, Urosa told Globovision TV that Chavez’s slate of 69 constitutional amendments 'leads toward a single ideology and that, of course, is going to be discriminatory, it’s going to be exclusionary and it’s going to have terrible consequences for all liberties.'

Cue Hugo’s next un-Christian move: revenge.

Earlier this month, a pro-government student leader said that Chavistas were waiting for the call to 'take' Andres Bello Catholic University.

On Friday, El Universal reported that the National Assembly directed its committees on Domestic Policy and Education to launch an investigation into Venezuela’s Catholic schools for supposedly fomenting rebellion against Chavez’s constitutional reformation.

But the Church would be falling down on the job if it didn’t be a strong, good shepherd in the face of the wolf.

The archbishops and bishops of Venezuela issued a statement on Oct. 19 entitled 'Called to Live in Freedom,' taking such a stand against Chavez’s shameless initiative. 'The proposed Reform excludes political and social sectors not in agreement with a Socialist State, restricts freedom and represents a retrocession in the progress of respect for human rights,' the bishops’ conference wrote..."

Read the whole thing!

I have one more thing to say to Hugo: Por que no te callas?!??!???

Juan Carlos: My hero

Today I consider myself a loyal subject to the Spanish crown:

"Spain's King Juan Carlos told Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez on Saturday to 'shut up' during closing speeches by leaders from the Latin world that brought the Ibero-American summit to an acrimonious end.

'Why don't you shut up?' the king shouted at Chavez, pointing a finger at the president when he tried to interrupt a speech by Spanish Prime Minister Jose Luis Rodriguez Zapatero."

That was so beautiful; I nearly have a tear in my eye! We love you, Juan Carlos!!

After getting bitchslapped by His Highness, Chavez went to a "People's Summit" with a bunch of other commies to be among brain-dead sheep who love him unconditionally:

"Joining Chavez at the rally were Bolivia's Evo Morales, Cuban Vice President Carlos Lage and Nicaragua's Daniel Ortega. In his closing remarks from the leaders summit, Morales accused other countries of perceiving him as a lackey of the Venezuelan president.

'They treat us like animals because of the unconditional cooperation from comrade Hugo Chavez ... him as the big one and me as the little one,' Morales told summit leaders."

Um, that's because you ARE Hugo's bitch, Evo.

The latest celebrity dingbat to kiss up to Hugo Chavez

Supermodel Naomi "Duck, I'm Armed with a Phone" Campbell, who's now up on the wall of shame with Harry Belafonte, Danny Glover, Kevin Spacey and Sean Penn.

Meanwhile, thousands of Venezuelans poured into the streets to protest Chavez's constitutional changes that could extend his rule indefinitely, nix the autonomy of universities, and shove socialism even more down everyone's throats by labeling land as community property. Naomi might better recognize these grass-roots demonstrators standing up for democracy as the "little people."

Hoping for a 'Revolution' of realism in Latin America

This is the last part of my interview with Vicente Fox -- the part in which I get to be totally, utterly, shamelessly opinionated, in my Los Angeles Daily News column today!

"The greatest thing Latin America needs right now is realism.    

I saw the potential for that in Felipe Calderon, and thus supported him for Mexican president - that, and he wasn't Andres Manuel Lopez Obrador, and he told Hugo Chavez to pound sand.

Watching Calderon's presidency nearly a year on now, I think I'll narrow that down: I support Calderon because he's not Lopez Obrador (who still thinks he's the rightful president), but I'm not exceptionally optimistic about the realism front.

From any Latin American politician right now, frankly.    

On Friday, I interviewed former Mexican President Vicente Fox from his hotel in Dallas as he traveled across America to promote his new book, 'Revolution of Hope: The Life, Faith, and Dreams of a Mexican President.'

Let me preface by saying that there is something charismatic and likeable about Fox: If I took him to the best Sonora cuisine hole-in-the-wall in my neck of the 'hood for chorizo con papas tacos and ice-cold Dos Equis, he'd probably spring for the flan. But if he started talking politics, there's a probability I could, at one point or another, gag on a swig of that delectable Mexican brew and choke on the cerveza up my nose. ..."

Read the whole thing!

 

Strangefellow serenade

I will be scouring eBay for a copy of this:

"President Hugo Chavez has released a CD of traditional Venezuelan folk music that features him singing, and which will be distributed free inside the country, presidential sources said.

The CD, titled 'Canciones de Siempre' which roughly translates to 'Songs For All Time,' includes tunes that Chavez has sung during his regular Sunday 'Hello, President' television and radio program."

And yes, that palace handout photo is of Chavez holding his CD, made even better by his People's Sombrero and karaoke-bar microphone.

I wish Hugo would let me write a song for him... I already wrote one for Evo Morales last year.

40 years later, Che is still lame

Of course, he's still revered in Cuba -- where they're basically 40 years behind on everything, thanks to Fidel -- and adorns the chest of every suburban spoiled brat wannabe revolutionary, as well as popping up at every anti-war protest (as if, um, he was a pacifist). I like the beginning of this AP story:

"Fidel Castro insists Ernesto 'Che' Guevara could never have been taken prisoner 40 years ago if his gun hadn't malfunctioned. But the retired Bolivian general who led the mission to capture him says the Argentine revolutionary was hardly a heroic figure in his final moments.

The man that Gen. Gary Prado remembers — sad, sick, hungry, dressed in rags and alone in the jungle — simply dropped his gun and surrendered, saying, 'Don't shoot, I'm Che.'

'He wasn't the figure of the heroic guerrilla,' Prado recalled in an interview with The Associated Press Thursday night.

...Prado is bitter that Guevara still gets so much global attention four decades later. He's angry that Bolivia's leftist President Evo Morales plans to honor Guevara but not the 55 soldiers who died putting down his attempted revolution in Bolivia."

That's because if either Castro or Hugo Chavez told Morales to slowly lick their boots shiny clean, he'd gladly put tongue to shoe for his leftist idols.

But here's a better idea to mark the 40th anniversary of Che's death: Go shopping at Che-Mart, an online boutique that ably highlights the relentless capitalistic marketing of his image, where you can find such gems as this T-shirt:

Teach with Hugo's textbooks, or be shut down

The march toward autocratic rule in Venezuela continues, with Hugo Chavez crafting new textbooks that teach Marxism and glorify his Bolivarian revolution. And if private schools do not use the government texts, they'll be shut down:

"Last year Chavez' Minister of Education, Aristobulo Isturiz, laid the groundwork for the new 'Bolivarian' education program to be imposed in Venezuela when he announced: 'Teachers should be the first soldiers of the revolution ... No Director of a public school shall have his, her job validated unless an evaluation is made, so that we are certain that they know what is the type of republic we want.'

Having already consolidated control over Venezuela's public schools and universities, including bringing in Cuban indoctrination experts to consult and injecting Marxism into the curriculum even in the medical schools, Chavez is now assaulting the last bastion of academic independence, the private secondary schools to which business and intellectual leaders send their kids. Objecting that the private schools teach 'capitalism' and 'consumerism,' Chavez has declared that if these schools do not allow inspectors to keep them compliant with the socialist agenda of the 'new Bolivarian educational system,' the schools will be shut down.

Zulay Campos of the Bolivarian State Academic Commission, which will carry out inspections to make sure that private schools comply with the government's curriculum stated: 'We must train socially minded people to help the community, and that's why the revolution's socialist program is being implemented ... If they attack us because we're indoctrinating, well yes, we're doing it, because those capitalist ideas that our young people have — and that have done so much damage to our people — must be eliminated.'"

It's so nice that all of our American actors and activists who've gone to worship at the Temple of Hugo support the thought police.

Also -- quite amusing considering the above photo -- Hugo has blamed the U.S. for big boobs:

"The president went on to discuss what he considers to be the brainwashing of the capitalist world and criticized the major media and mainstream movie industry that penetrate other nations and cultures with the values and ideas of the United States. He criticized, for example, the increasing popularity of breast implants among young women and blamed it on young women's desire 'to be like Barbie.'"

Yeah -- don't tell me Hugo doesn't have a presidential stable of Barbies.

Cuba's 'Fin de la Semana en Bernie's' continues

Fidel Castro is still on a mission to prove that he still alive, donning his super-sassy track suit and claiming he's currently breathing by quoting Euro values, as I still envision Andrew McCarthy propping up his arm for a wave. Fidel's reason for not gracing us with his presence more often? Because grooming is so time consuming.

King Hugo keeps destroying Venezuela

Hugo Chavez, as expected, has presented the "constitutional reforms" that could make him president for life as well as tighten government control to complete his Bolivarian wet dream:

"The self-styled revolutionary also called for ending the autonomy of Venezuela's Central Bank, which would give him access to billions of dollars of foreign reserves. He also proposed increasing the government's power to expropriate private property before getting a court's approval."

I nominate Hugo to inherit the name Turdblossom. Or just Turd.

Caption this!