GOP Vixen

Diary Of An Indie Filmmaker: The Final Chapter

So, here it it, the final chapter. If you're interested in how I got here check out my previous posts. It was a long frustrating struggle but more than worth it.

So, when I left you my film had just gotten picked up by a production company and financed. The pre-production journey had ended, the production journey had begun. I was a first-time director directing my own script and in over my head -- a position I was getting used to.

CASTING: Though I had already cast the entire film when on my own, it was time to recast with more experienced actors. Firing the old cast was very hard on me, though harder on them; even though I had warned them this could happen. So, we hired a casting director. The difference in the submissions was immediately mind-boggling. Actors came in to read that I had seen in film and television. The others were just head and shoulders more talented than what I had found on the Internet.

But casting was tough because we cast as we were shooting. Within two weeks of this company coming on board we began filming, mainly because I insisted, mainly because I was scared of a delay causing second thoughts and losing the film all-together.

So, we cast as we needed, sometimes the night before. Often we'd rearrange the shooting schedule to wait and hear back from an actor we had made an offer to. More often than not, the actor said "yes," and then only had a day or so to get ready. It was kind of crazy, kind of frustrating, but also rather exhilarating.

Being easily star-struck, it took a while to be able to just hang out with these folks. Our first meeting often went like first dates. But over time I got more and more used to it until a friendly working relationship developed that in many cases continues even now.

When writing the script I never had any actors in mind for the roles, except one. And we got him. And he was magnificent. I also worked with some actors I had admired for years. I even worked with a guy who starred in one of my favorite television shows. When I heard he was interested I was watching the DVD collection of the show. That was very cool, until our first meeting where I kept fanboying over the show, only to find out later he hated it, felt it had ruined his career, and never talked about it. I was mortified and never mentioned it again. But we had a great time working together and still email now and again.

Most gratifying was when the script went out to every agent and manager in town and after reading it submitted some fairly famous clients. Our lead actress was starring in a television series, as were some of our supporting actors. They did it because they liked the script, trusted our fantastic producer, and could do the film because we were working weekends.

Now, don't get the wrong idea. We don't have any "big" stars in the film. Just a lot of respected fairly well-known actors. And they were all wonderful to work with and gave outstanding performances.

CREW: This was still a very low budget film, so the crew was assembled by our tireless production manager from a group of people looking for a break and willing to work on a deferred basis. In other words: They would only get paid if the movie made money. But they were wonderful: Talented, friendly, and dedicated. We shot 35 days over 5 months -- weekends only -- and most came everyday and worked their butts off. The most delightful group of people you'd ever want to meet. It was an honor to have them on the film and if anything good comes from this and I'm ever in a position to hire, these folks will be first on the list.

DAY ONE: We had the before-party. All the actors were there; the crew; the producers. There was champagne and hugs and good wishes. I really felt like a director. Driving home that night down the Hollywood Hills, past the Hollywood Bowl, and on the Hollywood Freeway, I couldn't believe my luck; I was in the movies. It felt so real. I was looking forward to the next day even more. I had a full day to play director; go over the script, tweak my storyboards... Yup, I was really playing the part... And then it happened.

I was awoken by a phone call. The location we were going to shoot the following two days changed their mind. We would not be allowed to shoot there. We had three stars ready to go, twenty crew people ready to go, and no place to shoot.

This is how you lose a movie. When your first impression to these folks is a major league catastrophe, it causes a ripple effect you may never recover from. Suddenly my leisurely director day had become a living nightmare.

I called my producer and he was adamant we not cancel and compromise by shooting at his place if necessary -- even though it would've never worked -- because he knew canceling was death. So, I did the only thing I knew how to do; I picked up the phone, hit the road, begged, charmed, kept my cool, and found another place. For free. A better place. But a place that would take till 2 in the morning to get ready.

But the next morning at 6 am we gathered and shot. Production had begun!

And this was how it would be for the next 6 months. Even with the tireless help of the producers and production crew, it was always an exhausting 5 days getting ready for those weekend shoots. With a cast of 25 and nearly as many locations, the logistics for scheduling was a never less than a migraine-inducing crap shoot. And because we weren't fully cast until nearly the end of the shoot, that made things even harder. Locations always needed to be found and dressed. No weekend shoot ever felt like it had been easy to prepare. Most felt like it had taken an miracle.

But things always managed to work out. Even looking back on it, I have no idea how, but they did. It all cobbled itself together and we got everything on film we wanted and made all but one of our days.

WEEKEND FROM HELL: Because we were using a camera that had just come on the market, we had no way to screen dailies; no way to see what we were shooting looked like. It looked great on the monitor but I was having nightmares that all the tapes would be blank. It wasn't until we had shot twenty days that we were finally able to jimmy-rig something and screen footage. So, we grabbed the tapes from our first weekend, popped some popcorn, put 'em, and discovered that...

...60% of it was out of focus!

I could've died. And wanted to. I called our DP and said, "Please tell me you did something different the 18 days since!!!" He hadn't. And it would be two days before we could access the remaining tapes. The tapes that represented 2/3rds of the movie. The tapes that were the end product of my every hope and dream, most of my savings, and all my time over the last year. It was two days of Hell. Two days where I was sure there had to be a glitch in the camera that had destroyed the whole film.

Well, we still have no idea what happened, but the rest of the footage looks absolutely FANTASTIC! It's all in focus. It looks like like a real movie. The DP made miracles with the minimum of equipment. Yes, we'll be doing some reshooting for a day --  but I've looked at every scene and shot a few times now and it looks better than I had even hoped.

DIRECTING: So, how did I do? Well, I think I did okay. I was always scared, often unsure, frequently intimidated, but I knew what I wanted and when I didn't; I pretended I did. It was shaky at first, especially being the only person on the set who had never been on a set before and more-or-less in charge. But if I did anyhting right, it was the following:

1. I never pretended to know anything I didn't.

2. I knew a better idea when I heard one, even if it didn't come from me, sucked up my pride, used it, and gave credit to the person who came up with it -- even if it came from an extra.

3. I admitted when I was wrong.

4. I knew what I wanted, knew I needed help to get it, and asked for it.

5. I never lost my cool. Never got angry. Never let things get tense. And even when dying of fear inside kept cracking jokes and kept things moving.

Looking back, there aren't many things I'd do different. As we cut the movie together, I'm quite happy with it. A few things make me cringe, but in the end if the film doesn't work it will be because my story was too ambitious. But if it does work, it will be thanks to a cast and crew I will forever be grateful too.

But the best thing is the memory of it all. Whether the film succeeds or not, what I will always have is a pretty cool home movie and reminder of the best time of my life. To completely immerse yourself in something for six very intense months with 50-odd people, and come out of it with no scars and only warm memories of long day and late night laughs is something I didn't expect, and I suspect quite rare.

Near the end of the shoot we had a day that required all of our young cast, so with the crew, there was probably thirty of us. We were shooting outside and the weather was perfect. By now, we had worked together so long that the short-hand conversations and the in-jokes flew fast and furious throughout the day. We called lunch and served it on a soccer field. I was busy preparing the next set-up and walked back to find everyone spread out along the field in small circles; actors and crew, producers and extras, all intermingled on the green grass and under a blue sky. I was too far away to hear anything except for the murmur of conversation and frequent laughter. It kind of looked like a dream. It sure felt like one. And it's how I'll always insist on remembering it. I didn't join them. I just sat on the grass, ate greasy chicken, and let the sight and sounds soak in. It's my best memory from the film, and one the best of my life. 

Don't get me wrong, if the movie fails I'm still gonna kill myself. But as the exhaust fills the garage and my life passes before my eyes, at least the last year will be pleasant to watch.

Diary of an Indie Filmmaker Chapter 16

Chapter XVI: Here we go...

We start shooting Saturday. This Saturday at 6am. I've never directed traffic before but Saturday I direct three name actors, one of whom you'd recognize, the other two you'd recognize their work. And to be honest with you I can't wait. The best way to alleviate one's nerves is to be prepared and I feel prepared though there are a million things left to be done between now and then.

We have at least a dozen people working behind the scenes now. I have an assistant director and even a second assistant director. There are line producers, associate producers, a casting director, tons of assistants and a lot of people who pull me in a number of different directions whose names and titles I'm not sure of. Stuff is getting done I forgot needed to get done and stuff is getting done I didn't even know had to be done.

And these folks are all great and dedicated and I'm getting 4 hours of sleep a night and having the time of my life.

The material combined with my highly respected partner is sparking interest. It has solid roles for women and black actors and up and coming teenagers and we're starting to hear from them. Tonight we meet with one of the stars of a WB show whose agent is begging us to give the lead to. But I can't overstate how much the reputation of my partner has to do with these doors opening. The people reading the script for the lead roles are incredible. And who knows... We may not get any of them but we may get some...

During the casting session I was surprised by the people who came in to read. A lot of recognizable faces; character actors, soap stars... A lot of people who worked quite steadily years ago. Man, this is a tough business on actors. This is still an unbelievably low budget movie paying actors a hundred dollars a day and yet they schlep over to the cattle call even after once working in the world of trailers and drivers and personal assistants.

Yes, we're still casting. Out of 23 roles we have 19 left to cast. We're casting as we need to. We will probably be casting until the end. This business is insane.

And I lost my job last week. Can you believe that? I've worked steadily for nearly 25 years and last friday I got laid off because sales was so low. It was the best timing you could ask for. If there was a moment in my entire life to lay me off last week was it.

Things happen for a reason, I guess.

God bless, my friends...

Diary Of An Indie Filmmaker: Chapter XV

Chapter XV: Got Me A Deal

Here's how it happened:  I was moving on. I had deadlined them for Monday the tenth and assured them I would lock cast and crew and no one could talk me out of it after. And I was serious. That was no bluff. Not even close. Last Tuesday my Internet went down. I didn't hear anything from them and started rolling on assuming I was on my own. Thursday night I get a call. They want to know why I haven't responded. They sent an email Tuesday. They want to meet. I go in Friday evening and make the deal. And a good one. No, a great one.

We're to form a corporation: 50/50. I own half and this great producer owns the other half. We're full partners in all things business and creative, but if the movie fails I get sole rights to the script and characters back.

And so everything changed. And I mean overnight. It all happened like I'd had hoped it would with so many others. I had an engaged, excited, smart, willing, and able partner who knows more than I and things started happening right away. And I mean right away.

By Sunday I was already meeting with a casting director. We locked that name actress I had talked about earlier. She is fully on board. She is making the movie. She is locked. And now we're looking to cast names. Solid people that can get a film in festivals and ultimately distributed. My new partner is a true believer and is backing it up with more than talk.

He's doubling our budget initially. He's going to handle all the paperwork, payroll, legal, and union nonsense. He's going to pay for the casting director and actors salaries. He's also going to create a very serious business plan and look for more money. But worse case we have enough to make the movie. Make it with names. Make it right. More money can only make it easier.

My partner has made over 20 movies. That's why I went 50/50. I can't be in charge. I don't know enough to have final say. But I can't work for someone else either. So, it's perfect. Now I'm forced to come to an agreement with someone with a vast knowledge of the industry and film making. That can only be good for me. That's how I'll learn. And boy, do I want to learn...

The thing my partner said that really intrigued me was that he's going to push me and he's not afraid of me hating him for it. That's what I need. I need a mentor. I need to be pushed. I like to be pushed. I want a mentor.

So, it's still fun, but it's different. It feels real now, not like a lark. My workload hasn't changed. I'm still doing all the same stuff. But the workload at least won't get worse with the upcoming paperwork. But there was one tough part that took the shine off...

The actors I had chose. Now, when I chose them I was clear that this might happen. I told each and every one of them that a production company was interested and if they got on board the casting process would start over. But I still broke 25 hearts that Saturday afternoon. I called each one and dropped the bomb. It was hard. It was hard because they were all so nice about it and happy for me and appreciative that I had been honest with them. But the pained disappointment was loud in their voice. You could hear their throats had closed up. Grief will do that.

I gave the casting director the information on each of them. He's going to call them to audition. Worse case, they'll meet a casting director which isn't an easy thing to do. So, I helped a little. And maybe some of them will get the part anyway. But I kind of doubt it.

This is a tough business. And I can see why those with no conscience thrive here.

But I love the deal. I love the independence. When I say this is better than an overbearing million dollar paycheck studio deal I'm not kidding. It's not sour grapes. Because with this deal, it's still my movie. I didn't come here to get rich. I came here to revel in the process from A-Z. To be a part of it. To meet fellow travelers. To work with them and create something from nothing.  Actually I came here to write movies and now find myself directing kind of accidentally, but what the hell... Life's short... Worse case I gotta story to tell someday.

Finally, I was talking to that actress last night about the character and wardrobe and schedule. We talked for about an hour. Afterward The Hot Little Number asked me how it felt. How it felt to be talking to a woman we had seen in movies and who I would be directing in a few weeks. And then it hit me. It hit me for the first time: I'm gonna direct a movie. I'm gonna direct a motion picture.

Monday a breakdown of my script will land on every agent's desk in town. It will list me as writer and director. There's no backing out now.

Scary. But kinda' cool.

Diary Of An Indie Filmmaker: Part XIV

Chapter XIV: It's happened... I've become George Constanza.

I just got an email from the production company. They've given the script to a casting director and told him he has until Monday to lock in a cast.

My head is spinning. 

Are these people out of their minds? I told them I've never directed an actor before in my life! I told them I have no idea where to put the camera! I told them I only have $27,000 and no one's really helping me except the Hot Little Number! I told them I'll have to steal some shots because I can't lock the locations! I told them that this movie is just to try out directing, I'm not even sure I want to be a director! What is going on? I'll tell you what: Without thinking, I went and pulled a Costanza.

Remember the Seinfeld episode where George decides to do just the opposite of what his instincts tell him and he ends up working for the Yankees after telling Steinbrenner everything he's doing wrong?Remember that? That's kind of what happened here... Had I gone to that meeting all needy and really really really desperate to work with them (like I have all previous meetings) they probably never would've called me again. But I go... I'm curious... I don't want to burn a bridge... But I don't want or particularly need their help, and we're off... It's insane.

And I'm starting to understand the old Groucho joke about joining a club that would consider me as a member.

Well, at least I'm not bored. Terrified? Certainly. Stressed? Definitely. Over my head? Always. But bored? No.

But there's now way they can lock a cast by Monday. There's just no way... Can they?

Shit.

P.S. Oh, and those two locations I need to lock before I shoot...? Got one today. And cheap. The guy's even throwing in a casket. (Don't ask). The second one I meet with a week from tomorrow. I'm taking the Hot Little Number because everyone's impressed with her. And I've gotten an unoffical okay on that one.

It's thisclose.

28 locations. Do you know how many people told me to rewrite the script so I'd have 7 or 8? Fuck that. I'm making a real movie.

Diary of an Indie Filmmaker: Part XIII

Part XIII: The Meeting

Well, I finally met with the production company. Two hours. We looked over all the paperwork and video of the cast. They were impressed by some of the cast but mostly by the base I'd created to actually shoot a movie. They want to climb on that base with some name actors and see if they can milk a profit from it.

But I didn't sell out.

I told them I will not wait. I told them in no uncertain terms that on Monday, October the 10th, I will lock my cast and crew. A "maybe" on 10/10 will be considered a "no." And any "name" who decides after the 10th will be too late. I won't break some actors heart whom I've committed to.

The other offer I made them is to come on board slowly with what I've got. Instead of writing checks and casting actors, they can help us logistically with the union contracts, cutting payroll checks, and writing contracts. The paperwork is daunting to someone like me but they're already set up for it. I told them this would be a foot in the door and after that they could decide how much they want to get involved as they watch us go. We would have to prove ourselves to them.

They didn't say no. I should know more this week. I hope they pick the lesser option.

The meeting was exhausting. I got home, promptly fell asleep, and didn't wake up for 12 hours. The people were very nice and encouraging, but the whole situation was stressful and because I have no idea what I'm doing I always feel in over my head. And that wears on you. A lot.

The reason I won't wait is because this town is set up so nothing ever gets done. People love to take you to lunch, meet, and express interest; but nothing ever gets done. Wasting your time and getting your hopes up is like an art form in this town. No one makes a decision. No one actually does anything.

Actually the only people who get anything done are writers. Writers write a lot. And they write a lot for free. Producers love to get 10 page treatments from writers for free and then you never hear from them again. But other than writers, no one gets anything done. So, I won't wait. And I knew that if I agreed to wait it wouldn't be because I thought they could take the movie to another level; it would be because I was chickening out. Agreeing to wait for this production company would've been nothing more than a way to kill the movie so I could rationalize that it wasn't my fault. So, I stared into the abyss and didn't blink... Yet.

And by the 10th I'll lock cast and crew. And by the 12th I actually know after I meet with the last big location I need if I'm going to make the movie.

The Green light remains in my hands... Well, and a couple of location owners...

Diary of an Indie Filmmaker: Part XII

Chapter XII: I Have A Movie If I Want It

And so it happened; Plan B came together and I have a movie. I have $27,000.00. I have a cast. I even have a crew. That ad I placed a few days ago actually worked. People who could relate responded to it and they're eager to be a part of it. I can make my movie now.

But... And isn't there always a "but?" But I have some tough decisions coming up and I can sense that one of them is about to violate everything I've said I wouldn't do.

Remember the actress I was telling you about? The name actress in love with the script who wants to do it? Well, she still wants to but she wants a stronger cinematographer (DP) than the one we have. Now, I don't blame her a bit. And I like her very much and she's been honest and helpful and I would love her to be in the movie and I hope she is in the movie... But...

Working Plan B; always and forever working Plan B; I have a terrific actress ready to take her place. Now I have been dead-on honest with this other actress. She knows exactly what's going on, she knows all about the name actress, and that she may not get the movie. And I'm not using her as leverage to get this name actress on board either. The name actress has no idea I can replace her with a phone call. This is a tough play but I'm trying to work it with as much integrity as I can... So...

I'm pushing this name actress. I'm deadlining her and telling her that if I wait it could cost me the movie. I'm telling her that we will work as hard as possible to find a DP she likes but by a certain date if we can't, we have to make a decision. The other problem is that the DP I hired thinks he has a job. And as we get closer to the start date it's becoming increasingly unfair and immoral not to tell him. So, the deadline I've set is one month before the first scheduled shoot date. I won't wait a day longer. I won't tell my DP -- who may be turning down work thinking he has this gig -- any later than a month out that he's being replaced. Once that deadline passes he's the DP and the name actress is going to have decide if she wants to do the movie with him or not.

So, this name actress is leaning a bit on this production company to come on board. Now this production company has been slow dancing with us for a month but refusing to take us home. I keep hearing how interested they are but no one is even bothering to set up a meeting. So, I've deadlined them as well. I haven't said,  "Help by this date of go to hell." But I have said that my cast and crew will be locked by this date. But if my cast and crew doesn't include this name actress I doubt they will be interested. Well, I guess maybe it is, "help by this date or go to hell," but it isn't meant to be.

But this is what's going to happen. I just know it is, and anyone reading this with any movie experience will tell you it is... I'm going to get the meeting right before the deadline date. The production company is going to make promises of some money, logistical help, finding a DP, and signing this name actress...

And they're going to ask me to wait.

And I'm going to consider it.

Consider violating everything I said I would do about not allowing anyone to control whether or not this film gets made but me. I'm going to risk Plan B hoping for Plan A and I'm going to risk the good in pursuit of the perfect.

If this name actress and production company would just tell me "no," life would be much easier. Yeah, it's a luxury problem, but I'm losing sleep over it. And I've decided that no matter what I have to keep my promise to the DP. We may have to demote him to Camerman but we'll still pay him the same rate. He may even enjoy working with a more experienced DP.

I'm going to do that because it's the decent thing to do, and I can live with that, but it's putting the fate of the film in someone else's hands; at the mercy of someone else's promises and that's tough and it's stupid but I'm going to seriously consider doing it anyway. Hey, maybe it won't happen. Maybe this production company will never call and this name actress will just have to make a decision and we can move on. In many ways that would be best.. But I have a feeling it won't. Because nothing's come easy. Nothing.

But working Plan B has worked better than I had hoped. By refusing to rely on anyone else to get the movie made, I do have a movie. And by having a movie I'm in control and forcing decisions to be made and things to happen. Everyone sees the train pulling from the station and it's forcing them move or not -- and most have moved. Had I spent the last few months waiting for people to call back and waiting for others to get things done, I'd be nowhere now but frustrated. And I love that. But...

I can see myself giving up that control in the coming days. And all I can say is...

Shit... Because I think Bowfingers's about to sell out.

Diary Of An Indie Filmmaker: Part XI

Part XI: The Ad

Here's the ad I placed today (minus the Bowfinger picture). Think anyone will respond?

WANTED: PRODUCER'S

If you think a producer's job is to walk around the set watching everyone else work and ask the talent once in a while if they need a Pepsi -- stop reading this.

If you think a producer's job is to try and get your friends cast or their music put in the film -- stop reading.

If all you want's a credit on a resume. If all you want is to get it done. If you can't embrace the motto: "I refuse to waste a hundred hours getting it done but will spend a thousand hours making it great," -- stop reading.

I need organized, hard working, hustlers unafraid of hard, tedious, frustrating, thankless work. And I need you to do this work for no pay.

Here's what we have:

1. $27,000. We HAVE $27,000. We're not trying to raise $27,000. We're not promised $27,000. We have it. It's in the bank. It's our budget. We're trying to raise more but can make the film if we don't.

2. We have an unbelievable talented cast and the audition tapes to prove it if you don't believe me.

3. We have an excellent script that if executed on film to it's potential will make an excellent film. Don't believe me? Download the script here: http://www... And make up your own mind.

4. We have a DP, Sound Mixer, director, and three other dedicated people working their butts off to pull this off with you.

5. We have High Definition! Not 24p. Not DV. We have hi-def. That's what we're shooting on.

THE BAD NEWS:

1. We have day jobs and can only shoot weekends. This will take 4-5 months.

WHAT WE NEED:

1. MEALS: On a tight budget, we need someone to PRODUCE through whatever means necessary healthy snacks for Friday night, all day Saturday and Sunday. And two full meals a day on both Saturday and Sunday for an average of 10-20 people.

I'm not looking for a cook. How you do this is up to you. But I can assure you it won't be done by going through the yellow pages because of our budget. You're going to have to find people willing to cook, go shopping, and logistically handle getting warm meals and snacks to the location.

Handle this within budget and dazzle the crew and cast with your efficiency and good food and you are a co-producer.

2. EXTRA WRANGLER: We need someone to PRODUCE extras. We will need them in a lot of scenes. We will need them to work more than one day. We need them for free. Sometimes we'll need a couple extras. Sometimes we'll need fifty. We need them on time, dressed properly, handled on set, and we need to know that whoever is taking care of this is just going to take care of this.

This is a no-excuse job. These people just need to be there.

Handle this within budget and by giving no headaches to the director and you're a co-producer.

3. PAPERWORK: We need someone to PRODUCE all the necessary paperwork. We are going SAG Ultra-Low Budget. There will be contracts that need to be created and signed by cast, crew, and incoming extras. We'll need releases at locations and a number of other things I'm forgetting.

We need someone organized, dedicated, committed to dotting the I's and crossing the t's.

With dotted "i's" and crossed "t's" you become a co-producer.

4. LINE PRODUCER: We need someone to PRODUCE each shoot day effectively and make the phone calls and handle ALL the tedious logistics necessary to make sure that who is supposed to be there gets there and gets there on time. You will make sure the set is ready. You will make sure the food, extras, and paperwork is ready.

Do this and you're a co-producer. Do it flawlessly and accept all the responsibility around the production and you'll be sole "producer." No promises on the sole producer credit until the shoot is over and done. You will have to dazzle me.

5. LOCATIONS: We still need locations. Now nobody wants to do this job. And when I say nobody I mean NOBODY. Because it's tedious difficult dull work. But we need locations and we need them for free. But... You can get these locations for free and here's how:

I need a collection agency for a scene. How would you do it? If you're first thought was "put a bunch of desks in my garage," go away. If you're first thought was "ask him to rewrite the script so the same scenes take place in a public park," go to hell. If you're first thought was, "call every collection in Los Angeles until one agrees to let us in for free," you're hired.

That's how it's done and that's how I did it. I got the collection agency and a bar and a miniature golf course and a restaurant and a number of other locations using the very simple formula of calling and asking until someone said, "yes."

We have 20 plus locations because that's what a feature movie has. And we can get them with hard work and dedication and a calling card. You just have to be willing to do the work. You just have to be willing to think outside of the box. You have to believe that it can be done, can be done for free, and embrace and revel in that challenge and enjoy it more the harder it gets.

I did. I just don't have any more time to do it.

And I won't make the movie without these locations. I won't waste everyone's talent and time making just another camcorder movie with 5 characters in three locations. What's the point? I'll pull the plug before I do that.

6. THE REST: Oh, no, your job won't end when the above is done. There will be people to drive and eqpt to haul and calls to make and sets to decorate and a hundred other things that need to be done. Everyone on-set works. We don't need another mouth to feed. Especially if it's someone standing around playing producer.

SUMMATION:

So, I return to the motto of: "I won't waste a hundred hours getting it done but I will spend a thousand hours making it great."

Meaning... I don't want to hear about your family issues. I don't want to hear why you may not be able to do something. I don't want to hear about your time conflicts or girlfriend problems. I don't want to hear about how you can rely on friends and family and others who might let you down. I don't want to hear about your connections and contacts or whatever else it is that you're using now to lay the groundwork for an excuse for failure in the future.

I want to hear how you're just going to get it done if at the end of the day it's just you and you alone. I want to hear how you're going to get it done if everyone you ever counted on falls through -- because they will. I want to hear your worst-case-scenario-this-is-how-it-will-just-get-done-no-matter-what plan.

So...

You wanna make a movie? Wanna just do it? Wanna do it without having to wait for Hollywood to kick in? Wanna do it without waiting for financing? Tired of half-assed productions with some jerk who just wants to play director on your time? Wanna be part of a team trying to make something great who will not rest, tire or falter until it is? Want a real credit on a film that could really go somewhere? Willing to do what's necessary to make that happen?

Then we want to hear from you.

Everyone signed on will have a contract and a piece of the pie. Right now the pie is copy, credit, meals, and gratitude. But if the movie does well, we ALL do well.

You'll have that in writing. We're a team.

Part XI: The Ad

Here's the ad I placed today (minus the Bowfinger picture). Think anyone will respond?

WANTED: PRODUCER'S

If you think a producer's job is to walk around the set watching everyone else work and ask the talent once in a while if they need a Pepsi -- stop reading this.

If you think a producer's job is to try and get your friends cast or their music put in the film -- stop reading.

If all you want's a credit on a resume. If all you want is to get it done. If you can't embrace the motto: "I refuse to waste a hundred hours getting it done but will spend a thousand hours making it great," -- stop reading.

I need organized, hard working, hustlers unafraid of hard, tedious, frustrating, thankless work. And I need you to do this work for no pay.

Here's what we have:

1. $27,000. We HAVE $27,000. We're not trying to raise $27,000. We're not promised $27,000. We have it. It's in the bank. It's our budget. We're trying to raise more but can make the film if we don't.

2. We have an unbelievable talented cast and the audition tapes to prove it if you don't believe me.

3. We have an excellent script that if executed on film to it's potential will make an excellent film. Don't believe me? Download the script here: http://www... And make up your own mind.

4. We have a DP, Sound Mixer, director, and three other dedicated people working their butts off to pull this off with you.

5. We have High Definition! Not 24p. Not DV. We have hi-def. That's what we're shooting on.

THE BAD NEWS:

1. We have day jobs and can only shoot weekends. This will take 4-5 months.

WHAT WE NEED:

1. MEALS: On a tight budget, we need someone to PRODUCE through whatever means necessary healthy snacks for Friday night, all day Saturday and Sunday. And two full meals a day on both Saturday and Sunday for an average of 10-20 people.

I'm not looking for a cook. How you do this is up to you. But I can assure you it won't be done by going through the yellow pages because of our budget. You're going to have to find people willing to cook, go shopping, and logistically handle getting warm meals and snacks to the location.

Handle this within budget and dazzle the crew and cast with your efficiency and good food and you are a co-producer.

2. EXTRA WRANGLER: We need someone to PRODUCE extras. We will need them in a lot of scenes. We will need them to work more than one day. We need them for free. Sometimes we'll need a couple extras. Sometimes we'll need fifty. We need them on time, dressed properly, handled on set, and we need to know that whoever is taking care of this is just going to take care of this.

This is a no-excuse job. These people just need to be there.

Handle this within budget and by giving no headaches to the director and you're a co-producer.

3. PAPERWORK: We need someone to PRODUCE all the necessary paperwork. We are going SAG Ultra-Low Budget. There will be contracts that need to be created and signed by cast, crew, and incoming extras. We'll need releases at locations and a number of other things I'm forgetting.

We need someone organized, dedicated, committed to dotting the I's and crossing the t's.

With dotted "i's" and crossed "t's" you become a co-producer.

4. LINE PRODUCER: We need someone to PRODUCE each shoot day effectively and make the phone calls and handle ALL the tedious logistics necessary to make sure that who is supposed to be there gets there and gets there on time. You will make sure the set is ready. You will make sure the food, extras, and paperwork is ready.

Do this and you're a co-producer. Do it flawlessly and accept all the responsibility around the production and you'll be sole "producer." No promises on the sole producer credit until the shoot is over and done. You will have to dazzle me.

5. LOCATIONS: We still need locations. Now nobody wants to do this job. And when I say nobody I mean NOBODY. Because it's tedious difficult dull work. But we need locations and we need them for free. But... You can get these locations for free and here's how:

I need a collection agency for a scene. How would you do it? If you're first thought was "put a bunch of desks in my garage," go away. If you're first thought was "ask him to rewrite the script so the same scenes take place in a public park," go to hell. If you're first thought was, "call every collection in Los Angeles until one agrees to let us in for free," you're hired.

That's how it's done and that's how I did it. I got the collection agency and a bar and a miniature golf course and a restaurant and a number of other locations using the very simple formula of calling and asking until someone said, "yes."

We have 20 plus locations because that's what a feature movie has. And we can get them with hard work and dedication and a calling card. You just have to be willing to do the work. You just have to be willing to think outside of the box. You have to believe that it can be done, can be done for free, and embrace and revel in that challenge and enjoy it more the harder it gets.

I did. I just don't have any more time to do it.

And I won't make the movie without these locations. I won't waste everyone's talent and time making just another camcorder movie with 5 characters in three locations. What's the point? I'll pull the plug before I do that.

6. THE REST: Oh, no, your job won't end when the above is done. There will be people to drive and eqpt to haul and calls to make and sets to decorate and a hundred other things that need to be done. Everyone on-set works. We don't need another mouth to feed. Especially if it's someone standing around playing producer.

SUMMATION:

So, I return to the motto of: "I won't waste a hundred hours getting it done but I will spend a thousand hours making it great."

Meaning... I don't want to hear about your family issues. I don't want to hear why you may not be able to do something. I don't want to hear about your time conflicts or girlfriend problems. I don't want to hear about how you can rely on friends and family and others who might let you down. I don't want to hear about your connections and contacts or whatever else it is that you're using now to lay the groundwork for an excuse for failure in the future.

I want to hear how you're just going to get it done if at the end of the day it's just you and you alone. I want to hear how you're going to get it done if everyone you ever counted on falls through -- because they will. I want to hear your worst-case-scenario-this-is-how-it-will-just-get-done-no-matter-what plan.

So...

You wanna make a movie? Wanna just do it? Wanna do it without having to wait for Hollywood to kick in? Wanna do it without waiting for financing? Tired of half-assed productions with some jerk who just wants to play director on your time? Wanna be part of a team trying to make something great who will not rest, tire or falter until it is? Want a real credit on a film that could really go somewhere? Willing to do what's necessary to make that happen?

Then we want to hear from you.

Everyone signed on will have a contract and a piece of the pie. Right now the pie is copy, credit, meals, and gratitude. But if the movie does well, we ALL do well.

You'll have that in writing. We're a team.

Diary of an Indie Filmmaker: Part X

Part Ten: Actors & Producers

Well, the film is casted (or is it cast?), whatever... We have talented, wonderful, dedicated actors to fill the roles. It happened as all things seem to happen with this project: Just when I was sure it wouldn't. It's an extraordinary moment when an actor comes in and takes the role. And that's what they have to do: Take. The Role. Walking into auditions yesterday, I was sure of two things: That we hadn't found the female lead and that we had seen everyone possible. And then it happened. She was so good, she knocked us all out. The funny thing is, we had seen her last week, almost didn't call her back, but she had this little something and our options were pitiful, so we gave her some advice, pumped up her confidence, and she came in and just was that character. It was truly unbelievable.

I really liked the actors and loved working with them. A lot of them were bad but I admired their guts and their laying it on the line to drive all the way there, find parking, show up and accept rejection. That took more grit than I have and I went out of my way to make sure no one walked out feeling they hadn't at least done a good job. I couldn't laugh at them no matter how bad. And didn't. And won't here.

The actors we did choose are not only too talented to be believed, but seem like genuinely nice people. I can't wait to work with them. To hear the words I've been tinkering with come to life and in most cases come to life in a fashion superior to what I heard in my head was thrilling. What a great group. What an exhilerating experience. But that's still the ether. We're a long way from that. And reality soon came crashing in...

In my continuing battle to get my producers to do some real work one of them defined the problem I'm having with them by saying, "I just knew it would happen. I knew it would work out and we'd find the actors."

I told him it didn't "just work out." It worked out because the Hot Little Number and I spent countless hours setting up auditions over two weekends that produced 200 people to read. So, it most certainly "didn't just work out..." Our success was a product of relentlessness. A relentless pursuit to make it work. A relentless pursuit and refusal to give up so that if it didn't work out we could say we gave it our all and not rationalize after the project fell apart by saying, "Well, it just didn't work out."

Nothing's going to just "work out" on this film. And I know that because nothing has.Every success has been a result of dogged hard work and a refusal to let luck or fate or serendipity or Hollywood tell us we can't do it. Setting up these auditions was like setting up a dinner party for 200 plus people. It was an enormous undertaking. It's one thing (and appreciated) to show up at the dinner party to help. It's another to take on the responsibility and effort to set it up. And therein is the difference between what I have and what I need. I need someone with the drive to do the following to set up auditions:

1. Find the space to hold them. You don't want a shit space and even those cost money. We needed a nice space for at least 45 hours over two weekends and could've easily spent $2,000 or 10% of our budget on it. I believed we could find a nice space and find it for free. It took days and dozens of phone calls, but I did.

2. The ad: You have to send out invitations to audition. That means placing ads in casting sites. That means pitching your product, coming up with character descriptions for each role, and doing it all in as few words as possible. It's a whole new writing project.

3. Perusing the invitations: We had over 400 people apply for just one role. We went through thousands of head shots and resumes. With 12 character roles to fill and only 200 slots open, we had to be discriminating as to who we chose to invite to come in. This took days.

4. The Invites: We created audition forms for the slots. Then we wrote the email to ask the actor to audition. Then we called the actor to ask them the RSVP. Then we called the actors who didn't RSVP to ask them again to RSVP. Then after some didn't RSVP we started the process all over again to fill those slots. Then we called and reminded them to come in a few days before the audition.

5. The Party: We had to buy food and water and make sure we knew where to get lunch. The other Producers were a great help at this point. They spent two entire weekends reading and video-taping, and waiting, and driving, and it was all appreciated. I couldn't have done it without them and hopefully now with a look at the actors we have and the reality of it settling in this will motivate them more.

Coming to an audition to help is "show-biz." Setting up an audition is "work." I need people willing to do the work; willing to accept a responsibility; not just show up and work. And until I find these people, or the people I have found come around, there will be no movie. It's impossible for me to do everything that comes next, because were still in the easy part. Actual production will be overwhelming.

I need someone who can make sure the cast and crew are fed. This is a huge job on a small budget. I need someone to get extras there; as many as we need and just do what it takes to make that happen. I need people to handle the paperwork, the scrounging for locations, making sure who needs to be on set is there even if it requires going to get them, and I need people to handle the dozen other things I'm forgetting.

I asked one of my producers what he wants to do when shooting started. He said, "You know, walk around, make sure the actors are happy, keep an eye on things, see who needs a Coke or a bagel." In other words he wants to play producer. I told him he wouldn't be allowed on the set.

Diary Of An Indie Filmmaker: Part IX

Chapter IX: It's Alive! Alive! And All The Cliche's Are True

Last time I left you was with the story of the actress interested in playing my lead. Not a name actress, but an actress you'd recognize but probably not know from where. Well, I met with her and she liked me. And she liked The Hot Little Number (natch) and she wants to make the movie. Now, she's worried about a couple of things and we're working on them and we'll see. Mainly she's worried about the quality of the other actors. She has everything to lose taking on this project and I don't.

So, the next day I sent her a detailed biography of her character. It was three pages long and said specifically how I felt the role should be played. Now this was a calculated risk for me and I knew it was when I did it. But I know exactly what I want and what I want is no actress hijacking the movie that took me three years to write. She called me and loved it. She said that she always believed in the script and now she believes in me. The next day I got a call from that very low-level production company that expressed some interest earlier and now they're eager to meet and talking about casting help and money. The actors they're talking about are exciting. No Big Stars. But talent.

Now I don't want to pump this up in any way. I don't want to exaggerate this at all. This company that's interested has never made a movie for more than a million dollars. This is what used to be called Poverty Row. But it's a big deal for me and even a few thousand bucks will make a difference. And all this appears to have woken my producers up. Suddenly they want to do something. Yeah... THEY WANT TO GO TO THE MEETING! Unbelievable. We're meeting in 10 days. I'm going alone.

I ran a State Senate campaign once. And it was grassroot; the candidate had no money; so the key to success was volunteers. And I remember that all the volunteers wanted to strategize. I'd call them and ask for help and what they might like to do and they all wanted to be in on the strategy meetings. And of course they did, that's the fun stuff. But it's not how you win a campaign. A campaign is won with phone calls and leaflet drops and envelope stuffing and tough tedious boring work. Same with a movie. Of course everyone wants to go to the meetings. That's the fun stuff. How about FINDING ME A LOCATION! Well, you get what you pay for.

What is killing me is that the actress has a problem with a key part of my crew. I have a deal with this person and now I may have to fire them. I've had people come along after I hired this person who wanted the job and offered more for the movie but I wouldn't bite. A deal is a deal. But a creative issue strikes me as fair game, and I'm going to have to do it. And in that respect this project is alive and taking on a life of it's own. Because everything has to be for the good of the movie. Because if it's not, what's the point of making it?

There's a saying on the stage: "For the good of the show." And what that means is that the show comes first because if the show's good that's what's best for everyone. And when you hear that saying it usually means you're going back to the chorus line because the solo you've worked on for months and wrapped your hopes and dreams into is slowing the pace. It sounds like a cute and show-bizzy saying but it's a velvet hammer.

But the movie has to come first. We'll all be putting in long hours for no money and if we let personal issues get in the way of the quality of the film we're just wasting our time. And as the director I have to be the bastard. This is something I didn't count on. As Jack Marino warned me in one of his sage comments; the movie will own me eventually. And I can feel it already happening. But it makes sense. I don't see any way around it.

Casting is ready and scheduled. We're seeing 80 people over one weekend. In and out, in and out.

Yes, of course I'm still casting. And I'm auditioning people for the role that actress wants. You think I'm crazy? B-Game, baby. B-Game. And they all know it too. They've all heard the B-Game plan. They all know I'm rolling on with or without them. Because these types of deals fall apart everyday. People change their minds on a dime. I could still get burned if they come on board and bail at the last minute but that's the only way. I refuse to count on anyone to make this movie. My efforts and energies are all directed on the worse-case scenario. If this actress drops out, I'll have another ready. If I can't find a replacement for her that means I never would've found a suitable person for that role anyway.

I won't make the movie with marginal actors. That too is a waste of time. I've always been prepared to pull the plug if the actors didn't materialize. In that respect this company could save the project. But if the project dies it will be on my terms, not because I got stars in my eyes and took them off the ball.

Another thing I'm learning is that every cliche about Hollywood is hard earned and too true to not be funny. Yeah, everyone wants their girlfriend in the movie. EVERYONE. I had someone who agreed to help a little bit -- who never mentioned wanting a part -- completely flip out on me when I didn't just hand his girlfriend a role. It was unbelievable. He said I owed him because he helped. Yes, I do owe him, but not a role for his girlfriend! I said, I'd audition her. What part did she want? The lead? Okay, how old is your girlfriend? She's 15 years older than the lead! I didn't even know what to say.

And now that this companies interested EVERYBODY has someone who can act or can suddenly act themselves. It's like there's something in the water and I'm the only one immune. The Acting Bug has infested all these once-normal human beings. But I'm getting better at dealing with them. I tell them if they want to act they should make their own movie. And I'll help them too: I'll go to any meeting they set up.

Diary Of An Indie Filmmaker Part VIII

Chapter VIII: Thank you

I received $5,000.00 in the mail today for my movie. It came from my mother and stepfather.

And I never asked them for it. I am moved beyond expression.

Just as valuable was a letter of encouragment from my Stepfather telling me to go for it and that I can't forget to enjoy the adventure.

I won't.

And thank you. I love you both.